I was there when both daughters were born. My oldest daughter I was in the delivery room, saw her full head of hair heard her scream and was the first to hold her. What a blessing. Many health complications had beset us when my second daughter was born. My wife became a diabetic, brought on from the first child berth, She was born at Vanderbilt hospital and watched very carefully. My wife was in labor for nearly 24 hours in a very controlled environment. I was in the delivery room, but the doctor asked me to leave as the birth began, I heard her cry and then I was invited back in the room, and enjoyed hold her and showing her to my beautiful wife.
My wife is an angel like most wives are tending to their every need: homemaker, paying the bills,doctor and dentist appointments, grocery shopping, taxicab driver to everything.
But where was I? I was working. 60-70 hours a week traveling,home on weekends, but other that that I was absent. My wife ran the Show, and God Bless her for it! I owe a lot to her she is an angel. I would attend baseball and basketball games, teacher conferences,plays,events my children were in, but other than that I was married to my "JOB." I tried to make each weekend special,: I would cook breakfast, pancakes in many shapes, special egg dishes, vacations were a treat as well! But come Monday morning at 6AM I was off to the races- MY JOB! At My retirement I said it was like a "34 year marathon."
If you are a Young Father read some excerpts from a couple of studies I have read and also some things I have learned through the world of Hard Knocks.
Believe when I tell you this
You will take time for your kids now or you will make time for them later!
A study from the National Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University found a connection between "frequent family dinners" and lower rates of teen smoking, drinking and drug use. Specifically:
"Compared with teens who frequently had dinner with their families, (five nights or more per week) those who had dinner with their families only two nights per week or less were twice as likely to be involved in substance abuse. They were 2.5 times as likely to smoke cigarettes, more than 1.5 times as likely to drink alcohol, and nearly three times as likely to try marijuana."
Another study, published in the journal Family Relations:
It noted that children who succeed in school tend to have mothers "who frequently talk and listen to them." Fathers, too, make quite a difference. Here's how familyfacts.org sums up a study on the impact of dads that ran in the Journal of Marriage and the Family: "Compared to peers with less paternal attention, children whose fathers spent leisure time, shared meals, helped with homework or reading, and engaged in other home activities with them have significantly higher levels of academic performance.
Harry Chapin Wrote a Song "Cats in the Cradle" in 1974.
I listened to this song and lived it. The song is told in first-person by a father who is too busy to spend time with his son. Though the son repeatedly asks him to join in childhood activities, the father always responds with little more than vague promises of spending time together in the future, which is peppered with images from nursery rhymes. While the son longs to spend time with his father, he continues to admire his father as a role model and tells him that he will be just like him when he is an adult. The third verse shows the son now having his own life in college and the father now wants to spend time with him. However, like his father, the son now does not have time for his father, pursuing his own life.
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I have 2 beautiful daughters that are just as pretty on the inside as they are on the outside and they LOVE the LORD, Their FAMILIES, and Their COUNTRY what more could a father ask?
Michael Mack
A Dad and An American
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